Mommyhood

Motherhood is amazing. I have never experienced anything quite like it.  It’s pretty crazy how much you grow up during the 9 months of pregnancy as well as each and everyday you’re a mom.  I see things so differently than I did a year ago.  Last year all I thought about was myself, now I am the last person I think of.  I never used to worry, now I worry all the time.  I worry about driving and flying. I worry about Chris’ health, Kadens health, and my health.  I worry about the laundry not getting done or the dirty dishes filling up the sink.  I used to love the snow and now I hate the thought of driving in it with Kaden.  

On top of worrying all the time, I find myself feeling and sounding a lot like my mom.  Some days I will say, “All I do is clean and wash clothes” Yup thats what my mom always says too! Having Kaden and raising him for the past 6 plus months I have come to realize how much I took my own mom for granted.  She has done an amazing job taking care of Tyler and I. I regret so many of my actions and the things I said when I was in high school.  I now know what she did everyday because I am living it.  I thank her for breastfeeding me for a whole year (I now know how hard it really is) and I thank her for giving up everything to be a stay at home mom and giving us her full attention.  

I love being a mom.  It is awesome.  I thought I knew what true love was until I gave birth to Kaden.  I love him so much sometimes it scares me.  Being a mom has put me on cloud 9 and I am so thankful for being able to have kids and experience this.  While being a mom is amazing, it is also one of the hardest things I have ever done! I knew it wasnt going to be easy because of the 30 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing I endured to get here. There are nights when all Kaden wants to do is cry and there is no soothing him.  Being a full time mom and full time student is so exhausting, I dont know how I am managing it all.  I just keep thinking about June 16th when I will be done with school and have my Bachelors degree.  Kaden is my main motivation to finish school.  When he is older I want him to be able to say that both of his parents finished college and earned their degrees.  I feel if I give up and dont finish that wouldnt be setting a good example for him. 

All in all, there are good days and there are bad days.  The good days outweigh the bad 100 to 1. I love watching him learn and grow.  He is so smart and too cute.  He has his mommy and daddy already figured out.  I cant really remember what life was like without Kaden and I wouldnt trade it for anything.  I am so excited for what the future holds for my little family and all the amazing things I will learn during this journey of motherhood.  

Update on Kaden- 29 weeks old. 22 pounds. 27 ish inches.  Still eats every 2 hours.  Loves all foods so far except peas and he is allergic to pears.  He has been sitting on his own for 2 months, he just started crawling all over the place.  He loves to pull himself up to stand. He loves chewing on his socks.  He doesn’t rely on a pacifier or his thumb.  He babbles, smiles, laughs, cries, and tries to blow bubbles.  His favorite place is to sleep in between mommy and daddy.  He is perfect and I love him.  

Goodnight world. Tomorrow is another day!!